Look Harder

As the sun rose, the dark sky slowly turned pink, purple and deep blue. The colors were astonishing. The yellow moved in and took over. Light blue skies took over the treetops. It was a spectacular sight. I would have missed it all, if the cat had not crushed my deep sleep at 5am to be fed.

When I rolled out of bed, hearing the cat’s meows grow louder, I may or may not have grumbled under my breath. It was summer. I just needed to sleep in a little more. Seriously? Doesn’t this cat understand that sleep is a must-have for me.

I pulled the covers off and slowly moved my feet to the edge of the bed. Stretching out my body, I reminded my almost 50 year old frame that the time had come to join the living once again. Day by day I have found it more and more difficult to find a reason to move out of bed. The days were growing more and more like that horrible movie “Groundhog Day.” I remember the first time I watched it – I was so annoyed. I couldn’t figure out why that movie got on my nerves. Now, living it, I realize why.

When you live the same day over and over, not only does it become monotonous, but it becomes harder and harder to see the good. The days seem lifeless.

As I was listening to my Christian podcasts while walking, and I heard the song by Zach Williams and Dolly Parton, There was Jesus. I clearly heard this…

In the waiting, in the searching
In the healing and the hurting
Like a blessing buried in the broken pieces
Every minute, every moment
Of where I been and where I’m going
Even when I didn’t know it
Or couldn’t see it
There was Jesus

And I realized, even in my hurt, there is a blessing. If I can’t see it, then I need to look harder.

Then I heard…

On the mountain in the valleys (There was Jesus)
In the shadows of the alleys (There was Jesus)
In the fire, in the flood (There was Jesus)
Always is and always was
I never walk alone

And I realized, even when I feel alone, He is there. He is waiting for me to see Him. I just need to look harder.

The beauty of that sunrise was Jesus showing me what was in store for me. It was a way to remind me that life is still all around me. He is still creating, molding, and moving mountains. If he can create that amazing sunrise that I witnessed, then he can certainly get me through another monotonous day of uncertainty. How?

By showing me the blessings. They are waiting to be seen. I just need to look harder.

So, today I just might rewatch that stupid movie, “Groundhog Day.” I might have to tackle my annoyance head-on. The thing with reliving the same day over and over again is you get a chance to do things differently.

I get to learn from my mistakes and try to correct them. I get to see the same things, but in a different light each time I roll myself out of that bed.

It isn’t a curse to live a boring life, it is an opportunity. Jesus is still there. Guiding me. Nudging me. Changing me. Showing me the blessings – yes even in the midst of struggle.

I can be angry at the world for this do-over day, or I can see it as a game changer. It’s my choice to ignore Jesus or to look harder for Him.

About aslamkowski

Blogger, Speaker and Author of "Revealing Faith: Learning to Place God First in Your Life" Most importantly, desperately wanting to hear and follow God's Will, wife of Peter and mother of three kids.
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