I am in feeling in between today. After Good Friday, remembering the death of my Lord and Savior, I am just feeling sad, yet hopeful. I am just sitting around and waiting. I don’t even know what I am waiting for: an Easter Egg hunt, a family dinner, or maybe my church service? Knowing that Easter is coming tonight at sundown is precious to me. Living in the moment is just so-so.
The time between Christ’s death and his resurrection must have been very scary for the people who followed and loved Him. They all knew what He had predicted – “We are going up to Jerusalem, where the Son of Man will be betrayed to the leading priests and the teachers of the religious law. They will sentence him to die. Then they will hand him over to the Romans to be mocked, flogged with a whip and crucified. But on the the third day he will be raised from the dead.” (Matthew 20:18-19)
If that were me, I would want so badly to believe that this wonderful man was going to return to me. I would be angry at those who killed him. I would be mad at myself for not doing more to stop it. I would want to proclaim His message to others, yet I would be afraid because I would feel defeated.
The loss of the battle is hard to get over and the disciples were having a hard time finding hope. Judas hung himself because of his guilt. The others, we can only assume, were holed up somewhere mourning the loss of their friend and trying to figure out what is next.
We have all been in this scenario before. We have all experienced the in between feeling of sadness before the joy; darkness before the Light. That is today.
Take this feeling from today and use it in your life circumstances. What do you wish the apostles would have done in their in between time? I wish they would have spoken out God’s message. I wish they would have stopped their mourning and listened to Jesus tell them over and over again that He would return! I wish they would have used that time to concoct a great plan for how to spread Jesus’ Word instead of sitting around and struggling with His death. I doubt I (as a disciple) would have done any of those things, but that is certainly what I wish would have happened. Yet we all know – it didn’t.
Next time you are in that in between stage, use it for good. Listen closely to what God has told you. Don’t doubt. Push away your guilt. Find joy.
The joy for the disciples was that Jesus’ prediction had come true. He had predicted his death and his resurrection and He was right. The joy was they had won the battle, not lost. Our humanness sometimes blocks us from seeing God’s will. Don’t let the circumstances trick you. The in between is all part of the plan. Use it as God wants you to!