Controlling Like a Dictator

Making Room For God

Dictatorship is the complete control over another.  With this type of leadership most often employees feel suppressed, they feel worthless, and they become hard-working slaves.  When this type of leadership spills over into a household children often feel out of control, frustrated and depressed.  Complete obedience is expected.   Obedience becomes a horrible word; a word that brings up feelings of complete submission and powerlessness.

This is the exact opposite of how God leads us.  God gave us the gift of free will, so that we could choose our own pathways.  Instead of treating us like puppets in a show, God allows us to unveil our own  production.

Unfortunately, some of us will choose to become dictators in our work places and in our households.  This is done so that we know we have complete control over every situation, so that things get done according to our purpose, and so that power can be exerted over others.  God never intended life to be like this.  How can we possibly enjoy a life here on earth if we are controlling every single moment of it?

Before I married, I did my best to control each and every detail of my life.  I planned out everything to the tee.  It all seemed great and perfect.  Oh but things changed.  I got married and had three kids.  Yes, no longer was I able to plan out anything.  Whenever I did try to control every minute detail of my life, I found myself frustrated and sad when things didn’t go my way.  Inevitably, someone would get sick, or throw a tantrum, or have to travel for work.  There was always something in the way of my plan.  I felt miserable, depressed and angry.

My mom used to say to me quite often, “If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans.”

God doesn’t want us to control every inch of our life.  With control comes power and authority, and those two sins have no place in God’s plan for us.  This is why dictators always fall – mostly because there is no where for them to fall except down from their high throne…

Controlling every detail will breed worry and worry will breed fear.  You all know that fear is just the ability to make ourselves upset about expectations that we set and fail at.

Through all of our moves, kid drama, and marriage issues, control was always the central theme to our failure.  Even with Katie (our youngest), when we tried to control her, things went badly.  Our parenting style had to go from authoritative to compromising.  Not compromising our morals, but compromising our authority and power to allow Katie to help in finding solutions to the problems.  It was unnatural to Pete and I.  It took an immense amount of time and patience, but it worked.

Katie opened my eyes to the power of compromise.  She reminded me of the importance of managing my team as a servant leader not a dictator.  Because of this change my attitude went from miserable, depressed and angry to happy, fulfilled and complete.

We were sent to be His servants here on earth.  We are meant to shine the light of God to others.  God did not send us as suppressed, controlled servants but loving, kind servants.  We are to be obedient to God, who not through dictatorship, but through love shows us the beauty of obedience.  God doesn’t crack the whip, punish us or micro-manage us.  He loves us so much that He gives us free will to make choices.

“..obeying God’s laws does not inhibit or restrain us.  Instead, it frees us to be what God designed us to be.  By seeking God’s salvation and forgiveness we have freedom from sin and the resulting oppressive guilt.  By living God’s way, we have freedom to fulfill God’s plan for our lives.” — Chronological Life Application Study Bible based on Psalm 119:44-46 

Controlling and planning will inevitably lead us to sin especially if we are doing it with complete obedience (to our own self and not to God) as the expectation.  It will ultimately destroy our happiness and lead us on the road to the sin of guilt.  Think about your leadership style.  Think about how God wants you to lead.  Remember that the ultimate goal is to spread God’s light to others.


About aslamkowski

Blogger, Speaker and Author of "Revealing Faith: Learning to Place God First in Your Life" Most importantly, desperately wanting to hear and follow God's Will, wife of Peter and mother of three kids.
This entry was posted in Faith, Family, God, Jesus, Religion, Social Justice, Uncategorized, Women and Christianity and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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