Here I am. Take away my worries. Take away my stress. Take away my anxiety. Erase the 25 things I have on my calendar. Eliminate my leak that is spewing all over my basement. Pay my bills. Pick up my kids. Do my laundry. Just let me relax in You, for this moment. Let me feel Your presence. Let me know that all of this “stuff” is for Your Glory.
Today is just one of those days. Maybe it is the rain pouring down, maybe it is the early morning wake up call I received from my 8 year old, or maybe it is just one of those days. Have you ever experienced a day like that?
It takes every ounce of energy in my body to even get into the shower. I wanted to write my blog today, but I just really didn’t want to go ALL the way down the basement and type. So, I sat in my favorite prayer spot and looked out my picture window into my backyard. The rain poured down. Shots of lightning lit up the sky. Thunder boomed overhead.
Thoughts raced through my mind. Where was this discernment that God had placed on my heart going? I have been praying for 29 days now. When is He going to answer me? Why isn’t God telling me what direction to take? It seems like He could have answered within a couple days, maybe a week, but 29 days?
In my mind, I was second guessing. Maybe God is telling me no. I started to rationalize why He really didn’t want me to start this new ministry. I said things like… I’m not really worthy of doing that. I don’t really have the time. I am really just supposed to be a mom to my 3 great kids. His answer is in his silence. Just move on.
I knew that wasn’t the truth. I knew God just wanted me to wait a little longer. He still needed to mold me into the person He knew I could be. After all, in the last year he had stripped me of pride, control, and gluttony. I was a work in progress.
So today, when I woke up with no energy, I knew I needed God more than anything. I needed God to show me His path for today. I needed Him to point me in the right direction. It was a good reminder that I cannot get through any day without Him at my side.
I started to think of Hebrews chapter 11 where so many great men and women are mentioned. So many men and women whose weakness was made a strength in order to do God’s good and pleasing Will.
Hebrews 11:32-34 And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength
Before these verses men and women like Moses, Abraham, Sarah, and Rahab were lifted up in honor. We all are weak – even the greatest among us are weak. We are only made strong through the power of God.
So as I sit here, looking for inspiration, searching high and low for some energy; I realized that He is already here. He is right beside me. He is nudging me. He is pushing me. He is encouraging me down His path. As I turn away from my own path – the path of weakness – I move toward His Will. His strength will lead me down those stairs to type this blog, He will lead me into the shower, He will lead me to all 25 of my appointments.
Along the way, I will encounter Him, smiling down on my day: maybe through a small child’s smile, maybe through a doctor’s office staff, maybe through a comment on my blog. I guarantee you though, He will be there, encouraging me every step of the way.
I Peter 2:9 But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A royal PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE FOR God’s OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light