Well, here it is. I knew it would be here eventually, but now I can say it has arrived. I finally felt today like my blogs really are not effective. I don’t know why it hit today. There must have been a weak point in my life today. I must have felt the pressure to write. I am not sure what did it, but I sat back and looked at my stats for my blog and just felt like the devil was whispering in my ear – “Who on earth really cares what you are writing and why are you wasting your time doing it?”
This doesn’t just happen with writing. It happens in all areas of my life. I start to feel like I am wasting my time and effort. I lose steam. When I am doing laundry, mowing the lawn, cleaning my house and feeding my kids, there are days that it seems wonderful and then days that it just seems fruitless. It gets monotonous. Probably because I am doing it on my own – it becomes all about me.
I know I have these grand plans for what my determination for God will produce. I want to go on the speaker circuit and speak God’s message. I want to touch thousands of lives with God’s Glory. That just doesn’t seem to be in the game plan for me, so when I realize my small little audience is all I get, then I wonder, should I be doing more? Am I doing something wrong? Doesn’t God want His Word out for all to hear and see?
God doesn’t work that way. He never has and He never will. He gently nudges us back to His plan, mostly because we push and pull all the way trying to show God our path is WAY better. We tell God how wrong He is for taking us on this journey and He chuckles to Himself. He knows eventually we will see the Light. He knows that we may just opt for the road that takes us the furthest from His plan (you know the so called “shortcut”). Yep, He knows all about how we try to detour from the traffic of life. It makes Him laugh because He recognizes that if we truly love Him, we will find our way back again to His path.
No worries, I will find my way back to God’s path. Most likely it will even be today. God has a plan for me. It may not involve large audiences and big bucks, but it will involve His praise and thankfulness in heaven. I have to tell myself each day – that is all that matters. I want to face God and tell Him how much I love Him and devoted my life to Him. While I tell Him those things, I want to be smiling with joy and no regrets about working for God every day of my life. He is the best boss I have ever had, and he certainly doesn’t apply the pressure or make me think that I am not good enough. Just the opposite, God tells me constantly to stop putting so much pressure on myself and to live in the moment. Love God, love my family and live in the Truth – that is all He cares about.