I admit it. I am a hoarder. Not a hoarder of material stuff. I am a hoarder of worry. Have you ever watched that television show “Hoarders.” It is so hard for me to watch because I just cannot stand clutter around my house. Moving has been tough for me because there is so much stuff all around me. The thing is I am good at throwing out stuff. So good in fact that my family hides items from me because they know if I see it, I will throw it out. Unfortunately, I do hoard away all my worries. My migraines this week are proof of my hoarding. My worries are stacked up all around me, just like the material stuff that hoarders struggle with.
This morning I was talking to my sister and she mentioned that she was having a hard time giving back her worries to God lately. I laughed and said, “Well, I am certainly not the person you should ask for advice on that.” I guess I could add hypocrite to my list of sins. I write and blog on giving back your worries to God, but when it comes to the big situations in life (like moving for one), I just cannot give back my worries. I try to live moment by moment, but the “what ifs” always sneak back in there. Lately, the “what ifs” are overtaking my soul. Now the “what ifs” have migrated up to my head, and I am physically making myself sick on top of mentally. That is not good!
Proverbs 12:25 Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, But a good word makes it glad.
Matthew 6:25 For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?
I Peter 5:7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
Matthew 6:34 “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
Luke 12:25 And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span?
Psalm 38:18 For I confess my iniquity; I am full of anxiety because of my sin.
Phillipians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
So, here I am today, wishing that all my worries would just go away. Thinking that the only way to stay away from my anxiety is to hide in my house and not answer the phone. What kind of life is that? I don’t think it was any coincidence this weekend that Pete and I took the kids to Mass at a church just down the street from our new house. Our weekend was packed full so instead of driving 20 minutes to our own church, we ventured out to another one which was closer. During the Palm Sunday readings, one of my friends did the reading. Now, Palm Sunday readings are no easy thing. It is quite a long service because we basically relive the Passion of Christ. My friend was the narrator, so her readings were quite lengthy. Here is the catcher: my friend suffers from severe depression. She hides in her home away from all. She struggles with friendships because her depression holds her back from speaking loudly or quickly. Her struggles are real and scary. Inside she is a sweet, loving woman who just wants to escape the depression. I had not seen her for over a year, probably because she was attending a new church. So when she spoke at the service, I was astonished and couldn’t help but smile. How great is it that she was up in front of all those people speaking so loud and clear! She conquered her depression that morning!
Now, like I said that was no coincidence that we attended that service. God was showing me that if he could work through my friend that way; he could conquer my own anxieties. Which compared to my friend’s anxiety is nothing. Breathe in, breathe out. Live in the moment. Don’t worry about the future. Live for today. Love Me above all else. Let Me be your guide. Read my Word. These are all the words that God placed on my heart today.
As I look down on the floor this morning, there lays my dog. She is so peaceful. No worries. Just living life under her master’s feet. She is always by my side. She wakes up and seeks me out. When I have left the house, she hears my car return before I even pull into the driveway. I need to be like that with God. God is always there. I should be at His feet at all times. I should be looking for His presence constantly. I should be open to doing whatever He needs for me to do. Most importantly, in order to do all that, I must be free from anxiety and worry; living in the moment, not in the past or the future. Clean out the clutter of my anxieties. Breathe in, breathe out.