Alright, maybe it is just me, but every night the worries and anxieties pop into my brain as I try to fall asleep. I cannot let go of the “what ifs” at bedtime. They consume me. They grow to the point that I start to get upset, angry, worried, scared of tomorrow. Sometimes they wake me up throughout the night to the point where I have to write things down so I don’t forget them. I am not kidding, really. In the middle of the night something so important comes into my brain and I am afraid I will forget it by morning (which I will), so I write it down. Does anyone out there have this problem or is it just me?
Last night I tried a new tactic. As those anxieties and worries crept into my brain (things like don’t forget to send money with TJ for school, don’t forget to call the roofer, don’t forget to email the parents about snacks, don’t forget to email back that person who just doesn’t seem to understand your point, don’t forget to fix that problem with the HOA, etc), I took a deep breath. As I breathed in I said to myself, “Should any of these worries really be keeping me up all night long?” Breathe out. “God, please take away these worries in my brain and erase them.” No joke, I meant erase them. None of these worries should be causing me a lack of sleep. None of these worries should be waking me up at night to write them down. None of these worries should take over my relationship with my peaceful, loving God. But they were – because I was letting them rule my brain. So last night, I let God take over. “Erase them, God.” As I kept breathing in and out, I felt the worries slip off my shoulders. I felt God completely erase my brain of all the thoughts. My mind became like a blank computer screen. I didn’t panic that I might miss out on something because I let God erase my brain. I trusted. I trusted that God would remind me of the important things. I trusted that if I forgot something that life would still go on. I let God take control.
Now, this worked beautifully for me last night, but sometimes I just cannot let go. So, if you must write them down, then try to let God take over. Just try to place all your trust in God. For anyone, who like me, suffers from “control mania” this will be difficult.
Phillipians 4:6-7 The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Waking up this morning, I have no idea what my worries were last night. I really allowed God to eradicate all of them from my mind and soul. It feels good. In fact, it feels peaceful. Nothing should cause me such worry that I cannot sleep. Nothing should cause me so much stress that I become consumed by it. Nothing should create so much turmoil within me that I cannot pray to God for help. Think about the Philippians verse above. “The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing.” Allow God to give you peace. Trust that he will remind you of the important matters of life. Have faith that He will be there to help you through the worries of tomorrow.
I once heard that living in the past will induce depression, living in the future will cause anxiety, but living in the present is peace. So true, if our present includes God.