What happens behind our closed doors in our homes should stay out of view of the public right? We all hope this is the case because I am pretty sure we all have moments in our lives where we just “lose it” with our family. It happens to me all the time. So when I saw the book “unglued” by Lysa Terkeurst, I knew my bible study group would love it.
At our first meeting, we all reflected on those “unglued” moments in our lives that were ugly to our family. When I say ugly, I mean we would not want an outsider to see us in that moment of “losing it.”
One of my friends, Genny, said something so poignant in the meeting. She said for the first time she realized that when she became unglued she was allowing evil to win out.
“It is like the devil and the angel are sitting upon my shoulders; when I become unglued the devil cheers.”
Genny didn’t like to think of her unglued moments like that. None of us did. It inspired her to beat out the devil. She was determined to change her unglued responses.
One of the best defenses for coming unglued is to spend more time with God. The more time I spend with God, the more I recognize my unglued moments then the more I want to change those bad reactions.
My “losing it” moments happen a lot when I am talking with someone about something stressful (like finances, religious differences, family issues or most recently home inspections). Because the conversation is a tough topic, my stress level rises. When my stress level rises, my patience dissipates. I should be wearing a sign that says, “Don’t touch, talk or feed this woman right now. You will be in grave danger.” I am not kidding. When you push my stress button (you might not be the source of my unglued moment), but that next unsuspecting person will be and they better be prepared for an UGLY moment.
Last night we received the list of fix-it items from our buyers on our home. I had been present during the inspection and everything went very well, so the length of the list took me aback. I had just finished packing up my family room (hello – stress city) when I received the email with the list. As I read through it, I said to myself, “God I am about to have an unglued moment here. You may want to send an emergency group of angels for this one. I am going to go into the “what ifs” soon and there will be no turning back. I need your help and I need this situation solved QUICKLY.”
Breathe in the Holy Spirit. Breathe out my unglued moment. Positive thoughts. Okay, I know the buyers, they are great people. I know they love our house. I know they are just asking for things that they hope we will fix. It is all okay. We can only fix what we can afford financially to fix. That was the truth of the matter. Focus on the truth.
I contacted them by phone and talked through the report. I gave them the items that we would fix and now they have to talk that over. “God, please tell me I am doing the right thing. I am trying to be fair. I am trying not to take this personally. Let me move on tonight and get some sleep. Let me see that this will all work out in the end – even if your plan looks different than mine.”
You know what? I fell asleep. I didn’t worry all night long about the problem (which in the past I would have). I didn’t come unglued with my kids (which in the past I definitely would have). I realized that God has control, not me. I need to change what I can. I need to see the truth of the situation. This is what we can financially do for them, and if it works for them – great!
By not “losing it,” I was able to sleep all night with no worries. It was so peaceful. I felt a little “blah-like” in the morning, but I just prayed again to God, “Please help me today. Help me get through this while I allow the buyers time to come to grips with their comfort level.” Guess what? God gave me peace again. I am halfway through my day and all is well. In fact, I think I will go pack up my closet now!
Psalm 32:8 I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.